Kanye West. Kanye fucking West. I realise that I go on and on about this waste of air so much to the point that I could break free from the shackles of the so called “City Fathers”, go solo on this internet thing and set up a Kanye West hate site. One place for Kanye haters from around the world to come together and spit at pictures of him, discuss ways to harm him and play fun flash games where you kick him in the balls for entire 19 hour sittings…you know, something for the whole family to enjoy. I could fill that site alone with content I have already posted here and I realise there is alot of it but fuck me doesnt he just keep he keep coming up with fresh stuff for me to cut myself to! You will sit there and listen to it, call me sir and love it.
So I was informed that his latest abortion was posted on Youtube. Knowing I would most likely kill myself half way through she kept texting me about it until I watched it, thats what friends are for…speeding up your inevitable suicide. Never in my life have I wanted to die so much. I wanted the floor to open up and take me to my happy place. Please just press play on this video to hear what he is calling music. There are no words to prepare you for this. Just imagine a tortured prisoner of war fighting a midget inside of a pringles can half full of cow shit. And press play.
I just dont understand why this person is allowed to release noises like that. What has become of the music industry?! The thing is that there is no music industry anymore becuase the people that produce this garbage (worse still the people that consume it) are complete fucking idiots. Below is a comment by one of them on the Youtube video.
Kanye West is like the character Charlie Kelly in the worlds best TV show Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia, completely and utterly illiterate. But while Charlies “subtle retardation” is something to enjoy in a fictional, scripted comedy environment; Kanye actually makes money from this complete horse shit in real life. Lets have a look at some of his lyrical genius shall we? Perhaps analysis is needed. Im wearing my science glasses for science.
“I turn this plane around yo ass keep complaining”
They are on a bike in the video.
“I wanna fuck you hard in the sink”
“With the Hos I aint got the best repatation”
(not mispelled…repatation) Maybe its because you call them Hos…and say ‘repatation’ rather than reputation.
“She asked me what I wish for on my wish list. You ever ask your bitch for other bitches?”
I…I dont know. Kanye words good.
“One good girl is worth a thousand bitches”
Thats science. He has clearly performed experiments.
And my personal favourite…
“Eyyy, you remember where we first met? Okay I dont remember where we first met”
I like how he rhymes the words ‘remember where we first met’ with the words ‘remember where we first met.’ Genius. Pure genius.
Just imagine if earth was actually a Truman Show type experiment on us by some master race of super species. Like the Predator but fucking loads of them. What would they think if they saw this fucktard on TV? I would be fairly sure we would hear that noise and see those three red dots appearing on the entire planet. With our last breath before the explosion we would mutter “Kanye…”. We have failed as a race by allowing him a voice let alone the ability to breath. If we were being audited in a similar far fetched (I hope) scenario wouldn’t you run to hide Kanye before anybody from the outside heard or saw him?
The video is just laughable. Why are people giving him money and a camera crew? How did that particular meeting with the record label go? Did Kanye hold up his A4 page with these lyrics scribbled on them, crayon stains on his teeth and breath, and demand money to capture himself pretending to ride a motorbike against a green screen as the hooker mother of his unfortunate child pretends to have sex with him? I can see the simpleton running around an office now making motorbike sounds and chewing his favourite red crayon.
He says in the song “After all these long-ass verses Im tired, you tired, Jesus wept.” There are two verses of 16 lines each…I know I was tired but he admits being tired after writing 32 lines. When you consider there were six people writing this song you have to wonder why anbody was tired? Che Pope, Eric Danchild, Kanye West, Mike Dean, Noah Goldstein & No I.D. all credited as writers on this complete wank.
Thirty two lines between six grown men. A sample of another song. Massively repetative theme. A lack of any message or reason to listen to it. What is this? Really what does this song really say? It says to me that there is no music industry anymore. The music industry is merely a vechicle to sell clothes and perfume to people slightly more stupid than them. It says to me that this guy lives in KanyeLand. A place where he is a genius and adored by all. The buses dont go where Kanye lives.
It says to me that these people have no shame. They have a daughter that will, unfortunately, live forever in the public eye yet there they are dry humping on a fake motorbike against a green screen. What must that have looked like pre-visual affects? What world is this?!
I think this is a new low in the history of music. I have friends that firmly believe that the music industry peaked in the late 80s/early 90s and it has been a very slow decline ever since. I find that very difficult to argue with. I would add that when they started letting people who cannot sing or play an instrument record songs it finished the lot. I dont even want to get on the point of TV shows hosted by horrifically uninteresting people where good looking people who cannot sing sit there to judge talent. If the combination of these two very valid points is in fact true than this what-ever-it-is must be the last bit of shit to drop out of the funnel. You can only hit rock bottom once and this must be it. It can only improve from here on in.
I mean, how much worse can it really get?
BREAKING NEWS : KANYE WEST PISSES INTO A TRUMPET. SELLS NINE MILLIONS COPIES IN TWELVE SECONDS.