Steve on the noises at work

There is a radio somewhere near my desk. I dont know where and I am yet to find it even once it but when I do I am going to nail it to a frizbee and fling it over a rainbow.

The issue is this. I will be there at my desk working away at my mundane tasks

“WANNA MAKE ME FEEL LIKE IM THE ONLY GIRL IN THE WORLD DUH DUH DUH SOMETHING SOMETHING”

begging the clock to jump forward and

“I COME AT YOU LIKE A WRECKINGBALL, SOMETHING SOMETHING SOMETHING”

the mysterious radio will spout out some utter shite forcing me to question my will

“IVE GOT THE EYE OF THE TIGER SOMETHING SOMETHING YOURE GONNA HEAR ME ROAR”

to stave off a very public suicide on the roof of a radio station…for now. I mean you would

“I WANNA BE ROYAL ROYAL SOMETHING BLA BLA”

think that radio stations would mix up their playlists but they never ever do.

The white noise I have created in my head to ignore the constant clicking of keyboards, email notifications and phone calls is usually air tight but its just those few songs and those lyrics that seem to creep in. Its all I can hear. Whatever prick of a radio station somebody has hidden away is causing me to chew chunks of my jaw in pure frustration. It operates on the exact same playlist every day. I cant hear their stings or ads or even whatever super-excited, overly enthusiastic vermin they have on to melt the brains of the population of Ireland Monday to Friday 9-5…just those lyrics over and over.

image

I know the first one is that skank whore devil woman Rhianna but I have no idea who is gonna come at me like a wrecking ball, wants to be Royal, take me to church or who has the eye of a tiger and will make me roar. Its not the Rocky version, its somebody else with a tigers eye…its some new shite. I could give two flying fucks who they are but I do know one thing, I want them to hurry up and do what they keep on saying.

You, Annoying Girl 1, come at somebody like a wrecking ball. Do it. Do it quick and shut the fuck up about it.

You, Annoying Man. Text somebody or get on to your mother to take you to church. Reach out to your friends on facebook to help you out or give you a lift. Whatever you need just ask anybody else. ANYBODY ELSE! Actually, all you can say is “Take me to church” so you know what? Kill yourself. That way you can be at church with God everyday.

You, Annoying Girl 2. The wagon claiming to have the eye of the tiger. Why would you use a classic lyric and then fit what ever noise you can come up with around it. Actually, its your producer. You have no talent, just end it all. Il help. Let me know. I can rent a car and run you over repeatedly as that is how it feels to listen to your noises.

The “Wanna be Royal” bitch. You are the absolute worst person on this planet. Is that really a song? There does not seem to be any music to it…am I missing something? Also, is the entire song just a chorus endlessly repeating itself until I chew my own head off from the inside out? Is that your game?! I call upon the Queen of England to apoint this annoying fuck as a Head of Being Royal so that she will shut her whore mouth and fuck off somewhere else to assault another population with her presence.

Im a little frustrated.

Steve

About thecityfathers

We sit around all day stroking our beards, clucking our tongues and discussing what's to be done with this Homer Simpson
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4 Responses to Steve on the noises at work

  1. Jill says:

    Oh by the way I just found your blog and while finding it tres hilarious am already overwhlemed by the apparent necessity of needing to be drinker if I wish to hang out with an Irish bloke.
    Woe is me! ;)

  2. Jill says:

    It is my belief, amply demonstrated here, that road rage, shopping rage and rage in general is caused a LOT by awful music one is forced to listen to at work. Stressful and unpleasant, and often way too loud. No wonder noone gets any work done or is constantly angry.

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